Monday 29 December 2008

Scotland's incomprehensible bard on Coffee

Rab C Nesbitt up to his usual string vested eloquence, this time in a coffee bar:

There you go. One tall latte.

What happened to small, medium and large?

Does it matter? It's the same thing.

Well if it's the same thing, why change it? Do you want me to tell you why it's not the same thing?

That's two pounds please.

That's it. That's your answer right there: two quid. For a half-cup of milky steam enhanced by a suggestion of coffee so meagre that it would make you think that you'd forgotten to wash the cup out after the last customer. The only tall thing about this boy is the size of the rip off.

Whatever. Have a nice day.

You're on a fiver an hour! What the hell do you care what kind of day I have?!

On the subject of coffee, the other day I found out that Costa coffee have a slightly bizarre fairtrade policy. The coffee they serve is not generally fairtrade, but on request, they will make you a fairtrade cup at no extra cost. Sound surprising? Well it's not. Apparently, a few years ago Costa jumped on the fairtrade bandwagon and began to offer fairtrade coffee to customers for 15p extra per cup. In fact, the proportion of the cost to Costa of a cup of coffee is so miniscule that tripling the price paid to farmers only increases the cost by a penny or so. What Costa were in fact doing was taking advantage of customers' willingness to pay a little extra to make 14p clear profit on every cup. Having been rumbled by consumers who mounted a widespread protest, they came up with their current policy.

Fairtrade wash or what?

Wednesday 24 December 2008

Confessions of an Ango-Indian Kierkegaard reader.

En fait c'est un peu comme la seduction de danguer.

WARNING: what follows is by no means consequentialist, more than likely well felt but not well meant and the epitome of hypocracy:

Two ideologies, both alike in dignity, in fair Manchester, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny...

On the one hand, it'd be great to live the essentially selfish life of an academic: Living in an ivory tower surounded by books and the all encompassing warmth of scholarship. On the other, perhaps the homelier charms of a steady family life are the real draw of existence.

As you may have gathered, this blogger is about to break, Von Trapp-like, into new musical lyricisist verbosity.

I've just had the time of my life. I've never felt this way before. No. I swear. It's the truth. And I owe it all to youth. (Man, this is the sort of eloquence and poesy Arundathi Roy and Tracy Emin dream of... Maybe in my time, I'll be the enfant terrible of the establishment, and my blog posts will sell for *millons*. I'm like Keats, but insincere, and therefore comme il faut.)

There comes a time in a young man's life when university is far behind, the youths of today no longer revel in the lost Mancunian wonder of Oasis, unless in some retro club or other where air conditioning preserves those who don parkas for fashion deliberately counter-cultural faux pas. They're just doing things I used to do that they think are new.

"That's right. I look like an arse. But isn't it ironic don't you think..."

All that's left to those that are old of heart is the vague happy memory of the youthful exuberance that Sex in the City once afforded, (before Kim Cattrall stooped to pose for a modern Titian... are they worth a hundred million pounds?), and the rememberance of lost time. Who knows: somehow lying on the sofa watching iPlayer and Channel Four on Demand isn't the same as lying in bed in your mother's house reading the papers, slowly accruing the words and phrases that will one day make Swan's Way and your name in the world.

Indeed. These are no doubt the bile infested mental meanderings of a soul not so much in torment as subjected to that horrific middle class feeling that the intellectual twilight is upon him. When suddenly the bus is infested with the undergrads with their inescapably tight trousers and their Mighty Boosh. The terrible realisation that perhaps no longer am I young enough to partake of the bread and the wine of bang-up-to-the-minute finger-on-the-pulse living. It's time to slow down. Take stock. See what life is worth. Surrender yourself to the NYTimes Quarter-life-crisis.

Mais bien sûr: j'ai bu un peu trop. But this is the last refuge of a soul with nowhere else to go. At least liver-addling addiction greets me with open tobacco-stained Red Bull'n'Vodka-quivering arms. Life on the other hand throws curved balls and gives no quarter.

If you're desperate to know how it feels, think Thomas Beddoes meets de Quincey.

Saturday 13 December 2008

Messenger Antics

After last week's great I Bike MCR alleycat, I've been inspired by my part time messenger team-mate to maybe give messengering a go at some point. Check out this characteristically American take on the 'urban sport'. I can't imagine doing it in San Fransisco with all those hills though... And Part II Apparently in these days of credit crunch economics however, messenger jobs are becoming scarce as companies decide that speed isn't worth what it was.

Thursday 11 December 2008

Notes from my father

One of my father's lasting legacies on my life will probably be the music I was exposed to as a child. The Bangles and Micheal Jackson not withstanding, I've been trawling the internet to try and find some of the Indian tunes which I have in my head. This has proved to be a rather more challenging task than one might expect - many of the songs are in Hindi, which I don't understand. My attempts thus far have therefore been typing in possible transliterations of some misremembered Hindi words in the hope that they will be close enough to someone else's transliterationto identify the song. Here are some I've found so far:

The second song is song by a legend of South Indian classical music, Yesudas. He has a purity of tone and technical ability comparable to Pavarotti (who is also mind-blowingly good, see here for proof, especially the sotto voce bit). It seems pretty hard to find some of Yesudas' earlier recordings of classical music on CD. Does anyone know of any?

Monday 10 November 2008

Update

Well, I've missed some exciting stuff. I'm so glad to hear that Philonious has survived a tussle with a taxi. That's terrible. I'm settling into my new role at a fantastically progressive museum in Massillon, Ohio, normally known for football (and it's tiger). The museum changes exhibitions frequently, and has a small staff, so we're very flexible and involved. I just made a display about Native American culture in a few cases near my office. It's Thanksgiving at the end of the month, and I thought it would be appropriate, however, trying to talk about the holiday while combatting stereotypes about Native American culture and European settlement of the Americas... in a few paragraphs... in a conservative midwestern town... was a bit daunting. So I was a little bit academic and vague. I mean, it's a holiday that was basically invented by a president to help foster national identity. I'll choose my battles wisely. Here's a snippet

Giving a feast to celebrate or give thanks is popular in many cultures around the world, and in America Thanksgiving is a popular holiday for people to reunite with family and friends. There were many ‘thanksgiving’ feasts given in America, often in situations following conflict or poor harvests. To bring unity and stability to a divided nation during the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving a national holiday, and it has been celebrated widely since then.

Friday 31 October 2008

Nouvelle Vague

Today, Le Fox, a mathematician friend and I went down to our local art-house cinema to see Die Welle, or The Wave, a new German film. The story follows a 'cool' Ramones loving history/politics teacher who gets lumbered with teaching the Autocracy class rather than the Anarchy class as he'd originally wanted. The film follows an experiment in which he forms a sort of cult/gang/movement called The Wave, with slightly terrifying, if slightly hammed up consequences.

The film itself came across as somewhat patronising and pedagogical for the most part until a certain event (I won't spoil it for you) at which point I began to take it all a little more seriously. The most fascinating thing about it all is that it was in fact based upon a real life experiment in a Palo Alto school in 1967. A contemporary article by the teacher himself, recounts the story of The Third Wave as it was called and gives some idea of what the whole thing was about. It seems fairly hard to find and seems to be removed from many websites hosting it, so I've decided to post it in its entirity here below.

The Third Wave By Ron Jones (1972)

For years I kept a strange secret. I shared this silence with two hundred students. Yesterday I ran into one of those students. For a brief moment it all rushed back.

Steve Conigio had been a sophomore student in my World History class. We ran into each other quite by accident. It's one of those occasions experienced by teachers when they least expect. You're walking down the street, eating at a secluded restaurant, or buying some underwear when all of a sudden an ex-student pops up to say hello. In this case it was Steve running down the street shouting "Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones." In an embarrassed hug we greet. I had to stop for a minute to remember. Who is this young man hugging me? He calls me Mr. Jones. Must be a former student. What's his name? In the split second of my race back in time Steve sensed my questioning and backed up. Then smiled, and slowly raised a hand in a cupped position. My God He's a member of the Third Wave. It's Steve, Steve Conigio. He sat in the second row. He was a sensitive and bright student. Played guitar and enjoyed drama.

We just stood there exchanging smiles when without a conscious command I raised my hand in curved position. The salute was give. Two comrades had met long after the war. The Third Wave was still alive. "Mr. Jones do you remember the Third Wave?" I sure do, it was one of the most frightening events I ever experienced In the classroom. It was also the genesis of a secret that I and two hundred students would sadly share for the rest of our lives.

We talked and laughed about the Third Wave for the next few hours. Then it was time to part. It's strange, you most a past student In these chance ways, You catch a few moments of your life. Hold them tight. Then say goodbye. Not knowing when and if you'd ever see each other again. Oh, you make promises to call each other but It won't happen. Steve will continue to grow and change. I will remain an ageless benchmark in his life. A presence that will not change. I am Mr. Jones. Steve turns and gives a quiet salute. Hand raised upward in a shape of a curling wave. Hand curved in a similar fashion I return the gesture.

The Third Wave. Well at last it can be talked about. Here I’ve met a student and we've talked for hours about this nightmare. The secret must finally be waning. It's taken three years. I can tell you and anyone else about the Third Wave. It's now just a dream, something to remember, no it's something we tried to forget. That's how it all started. By strange coincidence I think it was Steve who started the Third Ways with a question. We were studying Nazi Germany and in the middle of a lecture I was interrupted by the question. How could the German populace claim ignorance of the slaughter of the Jewish people. How could the townspeople, railroad conductors, teachers, doctors, claim they knew nothing about concentration camps and human carnage. How can people who were neighbors and maybe even friends of the Jewish citizen say they weren't there when it happened. it was a good question. I didn't know the answer.

In as such as there were several months still to go in the school year and I was already at World War II, I decided to take a week and explore the question.

STRENGTH THROUGH DISCIPLINE

On Monday, I introduced my sophomore history students to one of the experiences that characterized Nazi Germany. Discipline. I lectured about the beauty of discipline. How an athlete feels having worked hard and regularly to be successful at a sport. How a ballet dancer or painter works hard to perfect a movement. The dedicated patience of a scientist in pursuit of an Idea. it's discipline. That self training. Control. The power of the will. The exchange of physical hardships for superior mental and physical facilities. The ultimate triumph.

To experience the power of discipline, I invited, no I commanded the class to exercise and use a new seating posture; I described how proper sitting posture assists mandatory concentration and strengthens the will. in fact I instructed the class in a sitting posture. This posture started with feet flat on the floor, hands placed flat across the small of the back to force a straight alignment of the spine. "There can't you breath more easily? You're more alert. Don't you feel better."

We practiced this new attention position over and over. I walked up and down the aisles of seated students pointing out small flaws, making improvements. Proper seating became the most important aspect of learning. I would dismiss the class allowing them to leave their desks and then call them abruptly back to an attention sitting position. In speed drills the class learned to move from standing position to attention sitting in fifteen seconds. In focus drills I concentrated attention on the feet being parallel and flat, ankles locked, knees bent at ninety degree angles, hands flat and crossed against the back, spine straight, chin down, head forward. We did noise drills in which talking was allowed only to be shown as a detraction. Following minutes of progressive drill assignments the class could move from standing positions outside the room to attention sitting positions at their desks without making a sound. The maneuver took five seconds.

It was strange how quickly the students took to this uniform code of behavior I began to wonder just how far they could be pushed. Was this display of obedience a momentary game we were all playing, or was it something else. Was the desire for discipline and uniformity a natural need? A societal instinct we hide within our franchise restaurants and T.V. programming.

I decided to push the tolerance of the class for regimented action. In the final twenty-five minutes of the class I introduced some new rules. Students must be sitting in class at the attention position before the late bell; all students Must carry pencils and paper for note taking; when asking or answering questions a student must stand at the side of their desk; the first word given in answering or asking a question is "Mr. Jones." We practiced short "silent reading" sessions. Students who responded in a sluggish manner were reprimanded and in every case made to repeat their behavior until it was a model of punctuality and respect. The intensity of the response became more important than the content. To accentuate this, I requested answers to be given in three words or less. Students were rewarded for making an effort at answering or asking questions. They were also acknowledged for doing this in a crisp and attentive manner. Soon everyone in the class began popping up with answers and questions. The involvement level in the class moved from the few who always dominated discussions to the entire class. Even stranger was the gradual improvement in the quality of answers. Everyone seemed to be listening more intently. New people were speaking. Answers *tarted to stretch out as students usually hesitant to speak found support for their effort.

As for my part in this exercise, I had nothing but questions. Why hadn't I thought of this technique before. Students seemed intent on the assignment and displayed Accurate recitation of facts and concepts. They even seemed to be asking better questions and treating each other with more compassion. How could this be? Here I was enacting an authoritarian learning environment and it seemed very productive. I now began to ponder not just how far this class could be pushed but how such I would change my basic beliefs toward an open classroom and self directed learning. Was all my belief in Carl Rogers to shrivel and die? Where was this experiment leading?

STRENGTH THROUGH COMMUNITY

On Tuesday, the second day of the exercise, I entered the classroom to find everyone sitting in silence at the attention position. Some of their faces were relaxed with smiles that come from pleasing the teacher. But most of the students looked straight ahead in earnest concentration. Neck muscles rigid. No sign of a smile or a thought or even a question. Every fibre strained to perform the deed. To release the tension I went to the chalk board and wrote in big letters "STRENGTH THROUGH DISCIPLINE." Below this I wrote a second law, "STRENGTH THROUGH COMMUNITY."

While the class sat in stern silence I began to talk lecture sermonize about the value of community. At this stage of the game I was debating in my own mind whether to stop the experiment or continue. I hadn't planned such intensity or compliance. In fact I was surprised to find the ideas on discipline enacted at all. While debating whether to stop or go on with the experiment I talked on and on about community. I made up stories from my experiences as an athlete, coach and historian. It was easy. Community is that bond between individuals who work and struggle together. It's raising a barn with your neighbors, it's feeling that you are a part of something beyond yourself, a movement, a team, La Raza, a cause.

It was too late to step back. I now can appreciate why the astronomer turns relentlessly to the telescope. I was probing deeper and deeper into my own perceptions and the motivations for group and individual action. There was much more to see and try to understand. Many questions haunted me. Why did the students accept the authority I was imposing? Where is their curiosity or resistance to this marshal behavior. When and how will this end?

Following my description of community I once again told the class that community like discipline must be experienced if it is to be understood. To provide an encounter with community I had the class recite in unison "Strength Through Discipline." "Strength Through Community." First I would have two students stand and call back our motto. Then add two more until finally the whole class was standing and reciting. It was fun. The students began to look at each other and sense the power of belonging. Everyone was capable and equal. They were doing something together. We worked on this simple act for the entire class period. We would repeat the mottos in a rotating chorus. or say then with various degrees of loudness. Always we said them together, emphasizing the proper way to sit, stand, and talk.

I began to think of myself as a part of the experiment. I enjoyed the unified action demonstrated by the students. It was rewarding to see their satisfaction and excitement to do more. I found it harder and harder to extract myself from the momentum and identity that the class was developing. I was following the group dictate as much as I was directing it.

As the class period was ending and without forethought I created a class salute. It was for class members only. To make the salute you brought your right hand up toward the right shoulder in a curled position. I called it the Third Wave salute because the hand resembled a wave about to top over. The idea for the three came from beach lore that waves travel in chains, the third wave being the last and largest of each series. Since we had a salute I made it a rule to salute all class members outside the classroom. When the bell sounded ending the period I asked the class for complete silence. With everyone sitting at attention I slowly raised my arm and with a cupped hand I saluted. It was a silent signal of recognition. They were something special. Without command the entire group of students returned the salute.

Throughout the next few days students in the class would exchange this greeting. You would be walking down the hall when all of a sudden three classmates would turn your way each flashing a quick salute. In the library or in gym students would be seen giving this strange hand jive. You would hear a crash of cafeteria food only to have it followed by two classmates saluting each other. The mystique of thirty individuals doing this strange gyration soon brought more attention to the class and its experiment into the German personality. Many students outside the class asked if they could join.

STRENGTH THROUGH ACTION

On Wednesday, I decided to issue membership cards to every student that wanted to continue what I now called the experiment. Not a single student elected to leave the room. In this the third day of activity there were forty-three students in the class. Thirteen students had cut class to be a part of the experiment. While the class sat at attention I gave each person a card. I marked three of the cards with a red X and informed the recipients that they had a special assignment to report any students not complying to class rules. I then proceeded to talk about the meaning of action. I explained how discipline and community were meaningless without action. I discussed the beauty of taking full responsibility for ones action. Of believing so thoroughly in yourself and your community or family that you will do anything to preserve, protect and extend that being. I stressed how hard work and allegiance to each Other would allow accelerated learning and accomplishment. I reminded students of what it felt like being in classes where competition caused pain and degradation. Situations in which students were pitted against each other In everything from gym to reading. The feeling of never acting, never being a part of something, never supporting each other.

At this point students stood without prompting and began to give what amounted to testimonials. "Mr. Jones, for the first time I'm learning lots of things." "Mr. Jones, why don't you teach like this all the time." I was shocked! Yes, I had been pushing information at them in an extremely controlled setting but the fact that they found it comfortable and acceptable was startling. It was equally disconcerting to realize that complex and time consuming written homework assignments on German life were being completed and even enlarged on by students. Performance in academic skill areas was significantly improving. They were learning more. And they seemed to want more. I began to think that the students might do anything I assigned. I decided to find out.

To allow students the experience of direct action I gave each individual a specific verbal assignment. "It's your task to design a Third Wave Banner. You are responsible for stopping any student that is not a Third Wave member from entering this room. I want you to remember and be able to recite by tomorrow the name and address of every Third Wave Member. You are assigned the problem of training and convincing at least twenty children in the adjacent elementary school that our sitting posture is necessary for better learning. It's your job to read this pamphlet and report its entire content to the class before the period ends. I want each of you to give me the name and address of one reliable friend that you think might want to join the Third Wave."...

To conclude the session on direct action, I instructed students in a simple procedure for initiating new members. It went like this. A new member had only to be recommended by an existing member and issued a card by me. Upon receiving this card the new member had to demonstrate knowledge of our rules and pledge obedience to them. My announcement unleashed a fervor.

The school was alive with conjecture and curiosity. It affected everyone. The school cook asked what a Third Wave cookie looked like. I said chocolate chip of course. Our principal came into an afternoon faculty meeting and gave me the Third Wave salute. I saluted back. The Librarian thanked me for the 30' banner on learning which she placed above the library entrance. By the end of the day over two hundred students were admitted into the order. I felt very alone and a little scared.

Most of my fear emanated from the incidence of "tattletaling". Though I formally appointed only three students to report deviate behavior, approximately twenty students came to me with reports about how Allan didn't salute, or Georgine was talking critically about our experiment. This incidence of monitoring meant that half the class now considered it their duty to observe and report on members of their class. Within this avalanche of reporting one legitimate conspiracy did seem underway ....

Three women in the class had told their parents all about our classroom activities. These three young women were by far the most intelligent students in the class. As friends they chummed together. They possessed a silent confidence and took pleasure in a school setting that gave them academic and leadership opportunity. During the days of the experiment I was curious how they would respond to the equalitarian and physical reshaping of the class. The rewards they were accustomed to winning just didn't exist in the experiment. The intellectual skills of questioning and reasoning were non existent. In the martial atmosphere of the class they seemed stunned and pensive. Now that I look back, they appeared much like the child with so called learning disability. They watched the activities and participated in a mechanical fashion. Whereas others jumped in, they held back, watching.

In telling their parents of the experiment they set up a brief chain of events. The rabbi for one of the parents called me at home. He was polite and condescending. I told him we were merely studying the German personality. He seemed delighted and told me not to worry. He would talk to the parents and calm their concern. In concluding this conversation I envisioned similar conversations throughout history in which the clergy accepted and apologized for untenable conditions. If only he would have raged in anger or simply investigated the situation I could point the students to an example of righteous rebellion. But no. The rabbi became a part of the experiment In remaining ignorant of the oppression in the experiment he became an accomplice and advocate.

By the end of the third day I was exhausted. I was tearing apart. The balance between role playing and directed behavior became indistinguishable. Many of the students were completely into being Third Wave Members. They demanded strict obedience of the rules from other students and bullied those that took the experiment lightly. Others simply sunk into the activity and took self assigned roles. I particularly remember Robert. Robert was big for his age and displayed very few academic skills. Oh he tried harder than anyone I know to be successful. He handed in elaborate weekly reports copied word for word from the reference books in the library. Robert is like so many kids in school that don't excel or cause trouble. They aren't bright, they can't make the athletic teams, and don't strike out for attention. They are lost. invisible. The only reason I came to know Robert at all is that I found him eating lunch in my classroom. He always ate lunch alone.

Well, the Third Wave gave Robert a place in school. At least he was equal to everyone. He could do something. Take part. Be meaningful. That's just what Robert did. Late Wednesday afternoon I found Robert following me and asked what in the world was he doing. He smiled (I don't think I had ever seen him smile) and announced, "Mr. Jones I'm your bodyguard. I'm afraid something will happen to you.

Can I do it Kr. Jones, please?" Given that assurance and smile I couldn't say no. I had a bodyguard. All day long he opened and closed doors for me. He walked always on my right. Just smiling and saluting other class members. He followed me every- where. In the faculty room (closed to students) he stood at silent attention while I gulped some coffee. When accosted by an English teacher for being a student in the "teachers' room" her just smiled and informed the faculty member that he wasn't a student. he was a body guard.

STRENGTH THROUGH PRIDE

On Thursday I began to draw the experiment to a conclusion. I was exhausted and worried. Many students were over the line. The Third Wave had become the center of their existence. I was in pretty bad shape myself. I was now acting instinctively as a dictator. Oh I was benevolent. And I daily argued to myself on the benefits of the learning experience. By this, the fourth day of the experiment I was beginning to lose my own arguments. As I spent more time playing the role I had less time to remember its rational origins and purpose. I found myself sliding into the role even when it wasn't necessary. I wondered if this doesn't happen to lots of people. We get or take an ascribed role and then bend our life to fit the image. Soon the image is the only identity people will accept. So we become the image. The trouble with the situation and role I had created was that I didn't have time to think where it was leading. Events were crushing around me. I worried for students doing things they would regret. I worried for myself.

Once again I faced the thoughts of closing the experiment or letting it go its own course. Both options were unworkable. If I stopped the experiment a great number of students would be left hanging. They had committed themselves in front of their peers to radical behavior. Emotionally and psychologically they had exposed themselves. If I suddenly jolted them back to classroom reality I would face a confused student- body for the remainder of the year. It would be too painful and demeaning for Robert and the students like him to be twisted back into a seat and told it's just a game. They would take the ridicule from the brighter students that participated in a measured and cautious way. I couldn't let the Roberts lose again.

The other option of just letting the experiment run its course was also out of the question. Things were already getting out of control. Wednesday evening someone had broken into the room and ransacked the place. (I later found out it was the father of one of the students. He was a retired air force colonel who had spent time in a German prisoner of war camp. Upon hearing of our activity he simply lost control Late in the evening he broke into the room and tore it apart. I found him that morning propped up against the classroom door. He told me about his friends that had been killed in Germany. He was holding on to me and shaking. In staccato words he pleaded that I understand and help him get home. I called his wife and with the help of a neighbor walked him home. We spent hours later talking about what he felt and did, but from that moment on Thursday morning I was more concerned with what might be happening at school.

I was increasingly worried about how our activity was affecting the faculty and other students in the school. The Third Wave was disrupting normal learning. Students were cutting class to participate and the school counselors were beginning to question every student in the class. The real gestapo in the school was at work. Faced with this experiment exploding in one hundred directions, I decided to try an old basketball strategy. When you're playing against all the odds the best action to take is to try the unexpected. That's what I did.

By Thursday the class had swollen in size to over eighty students. The only thing that allowed them all to fit was the enforced discipline of sitting in silence at attention. A strange calm is in effect when a room full of people sit in quite observation and anticipation. It helped me approach them in a deliberate way. I talked about pride. "Pride is more than banners or salutes. Pride Is something no one can take from you. Pride is knowing you are the best... It can't be destroyed ..."

In the midst of this crescendo I abruptly changed and lowered my voice to announce the real reason for the Third Wave. In slow methodic tone I explained what was behind the Third Wave. "The Third Wave isn't just an experiment or classroom activity. It's far more important than that. The Third Wave Is a nationwide program to find students who are willing to fight for political change in this country. That's right. This activity we have been doing has been practice for the real thing. Across the country teachers like myself have been recruiting and training a youth brigade capable of showing the nation a better society through discipline, community. pride, and action. If we can change the way that school is run, we can change the way that factories, stores, universities and all the other institutions are run. You are a selected group of young people chosen to help in this cause. If you will stand up and display what You have learned in the past four days...we can change the destiny of this nation. We can bring it a new sense of order. community, pride and action. A new purpose. Everything rests with you and your willingness to take a stand."

To give validity to the seriousness of my words I turned to the three women in the class whom I knew had questioned the Third Wave. I demanded that they leave the room. I explained why I acted and then assigned four guards to escort the women to the library and to restrain them from entering the class an Friday. Then in dramatic style I informed the class of a special noon rally to take place on Friday. This would be a rally for Third Wave Members only.

It was a wild gamble. I just kept talking. Afraid that if I stopped someone would laugh or ask a question and the grand scheme would dissolve in chaos. I explained how at noon on Friday a national candidate for president would announce the formation of a Third Wave Youth Program. Simultaneous to this announcement over 1000 youth groups from every part of the country would stand up and display their support for such a movement. I confided that they were the students selected to represent their area. I also questioned if they could make a good showing, because the press had been invited to record the event. No one laughed. There was not a murmur of resistance. quite the contrary. A fever pitch of excitement swelled across the room. "We can do it!" "Should we wear white shirts?" "Can we bring friends?" "Mr. Jones, have you seen this advertisement in Time magazine?"

The clincher came quite by accident. It was a full page color advertisement in the current issue of Time for some lumber products. The advertiser identified his product as the Third Wave. The advertisement proclaimed in big red, white and blue letters, "The Third Wave is coming."
''Is this part of the campaign, Mr. Jones?"
"Is it a code or something?"
"Yes. Now listen carefully. It's all set for tomorrow. Be in the small auditorium ten minutes before 12:00. Be seated. Be ready to display the discipline, community, and pride you have learned. Don't talk to anyone about this. This rally is for members only."

STRENGTH THROUGH UNDERSTANDING

On Friday, the final day of the exercise, I spent the early morning preparing the auditorium for the rally. At eleven thirty students began to ant their way into the room; at first a few scouting the way and then more. Row after row began to fill. A hushed silence shrouded the room. Third Wave banners hung like clouds over the assembly. At twelve o'clock sharp I closed the room and placed guards at each door. Several friends of mine posing as reporters and photographers began to interact with the crowd taking pictures and jotting frantic descriptive notes. A group photograph was taken. Over two hundred students were crammed into the room. Not a vacant seat could be found. The group seemed to be composed of students from many persuasions. There were the athletes, the social prominents, the student leaders, the loners, the group of kids that always left school early, the bikers, the pseudo hip, a few representatives of the school's dadaist click, and some of the students that hung out at the laundromat. The entire collection however looked like one force as they sat in perfect attention. Every person focusing on the T.V. set I had in the front of the room. No one moved. The room was empty of sound. It was like we were all witness to a birth. The tension and anticipation was beyond belief.

"Before turning on the national press conference, which begins in five minutes, I want to demonstrate to the press the extent of our training." With that, I gave the salute followed automatically by two hundred arms stabbing a reply. I then said the words "Strength Through Discipline" followed by a repetitive chorus. We did this again, and again. Each time the response was louder. The photographers were circling the ritual snapping pictures but by now they were ignored. I reiterated the importance of this event and asked once more for a show of allegiance. It was the last time I would ask anyone to recite. The room rocked with a guttural cry, "Strength Through Discipline."

It was 12:05. I turned off the lights in the room and walked quickly to the television set. The air in the room seemed to be drying up. It felt hard to breathe and even harder to talk. It was as if the climax of shouting souls had pushed everything out of' the room. I switched the television set on. I was now standing next to the television directly facing the room full of people. The machine came to life producing a luminous field of phosphorus light. Robert was at my side. I whispered to him to watch closely and pay attention to the next few minutes. The only light in the room was coming from the television and it played against the faces in the room. Eyes strained and pulled at the light but the pattern didn't change. The room stayed deadly still. Waiting. There was a mental tug of war between the people in the room and the television. The television won. The white glow of the test pattern didn't snap into the vision of a political candidate. It just whined on. Still the viewers persisted. There must be a program. It must be coming on. Where is it? The trance with the television continued for what seemed like hours. It was 12:07. Nothing. A blank field of white. It's not going to happen. Anticipation turned to anxiety and then to frustration. Someone stood up and shouted.

"There isn't any leader is there?" "Everyone turned in shock. first to the despondent student and then back to the television. Their faces held looks of disbelief.

In the confusion of the moment I moved slowly toward the television. I turned it off. I felt air rush back into the room. The room remained in fixed silence but for the first time I could sense people breathing. Students were withdrawing their arms from behind their chairs. I expected a flood of questions, but instead got intense quietness. I began to talk. Every word seemed to be taken and absorbed.

"Listen closely, I have something important to tell you." "Sit down." "There is no leader! There is no such thing as a national youth movement called the Third Wave. You have been used. Manipulated. Shoved by your own desires into the place you now find yourself. You are no better or worse than the German Nazis we have been studying."

"You thought that you were the elect. That you were better than those outside this room. You bargained your freedom for the comfort of discipline and superiority. You chose to accept that group's will and the big lie over your own conviction. Oh, you think to yourself that you were just going along for the fun. That you could extricate yourself at any moment. But where were you heading? How far would you have gone? Let me show you your future." With that I switched on a rear screen projector. It quickly illuminated a white drop cloth hanging behind the television. Large numbers appeared in a countdown. The roar of the Nuremberg Rally blasted into vision. My heart was pounding. In ghostly images the history of the Third Reich paraded into the room. The discipline. The march of super race. The big lie. Arrogance, violence, terror. People being pushed into vans. The visual stench of death camps. Faces without eyes. The trials. The plea of ignorance. I was only doing my job. My job. As abruptly as it started the film froze to a halt on a single written frame. "Everyone must accept the blame No one can claim that they didn't in some way take part."

The room stayed dark as the final footage of film flapped against the projector. I felt sick to my stomach. The room sweat and smelt like a locker room. No one moved. It was as if everyone wanted to dissect the moment, figure out what had happened. Like awakening from a dream and deep sleep, the entire room of people took one last look back into their consciousness. I waited for several minutes to let everyone catch up. Finally questions began to emerge. All of the questions probed at imaginary situations and sought to discover the meaning of this event.

In the still darkened room I began the explanation. I confessed my feeling of sickness and remorse. I told the assembly that a full explanation would take quite a while. But to start. I sensed myself moving from an introspective participant in the event toward the role of teacher. It's easier being a teacher. In objective terms I began to describe the past events.

"Through the experience of the past week we have all tasted what it was like to live and act in Nazi Germany. We learned what it felt like to create a disciplined social environment. To build a special society. Pledge allegiance to that society. Replace reason with rules. Yes, we would all have made good Germans. We would have put on the uniform. Turned our head as friends and neighbors were cursed and then persecuted. Pulled the locks shut. Worked in the "defense" plants. Burned ideas. Yes, we know in a small way what it feels like to find a hero. To grab quick solution. Feel strong and in control of destiny. We know the fear of being left out. The pleasure of doing something right and being rewarded. To be number one. To be right. Taken to an extreme we have seen and perhaps felt what these actions will lead to. we each have witnessed something over the past week. We have seen that fascism is not just something those other people did. No. it's right here. In this room. In our own personal habits and way of life. Scratch the surface and it appears. Something in all of us. We carry it like a disease. The belief that human beings are basically evil and therefore unable to act well toward each other. A belief that demands a strong leader and discipline to preserve social order. And there is something else. The act of apology.

"This is the final lesson to be experienced. This last lesson is perhaps the one of greatest importance. This lesson was the question that started our plunge in studying Nazi life. Do you remember the question? It concerned a bewilderment at the German populace claiming ignorance and non-involvement in the Nazi movement. If I remember the question. it went something like this. How could the German soldier, teacher, railroad conductor, nurse. tax collector. the average citizen, claim at the end of the Third Reich that they knew nothing of what was going on. How can a people be a part of something and then claim at the demise that they were not really involved' What causes people to blank out their own history? In the next few minutes and perhaps years, you will have an opportunity to answer this question."

"If our enactment of the Fascist mentality is complete not one of you will ever admit to being at this final Third Wave rally. Like the Germans, you will have trouble admitting to yourself that you come this far. You will not allow your friends and parents to know that you were willing to give up individual freedom and power for the dictates of order and unseen leaders. You can't admit to being manipulated. Being a follower. To accepting the Third Wave as a way of life. You won't admit to participating in this madness. You will keep this day and this rally a secret. It's a secret I shall share with you."

I took the film from the three cameras in the room and pulled the celluloid into the exposing light. The deed was concluded. The trial was over. The Third Wave had ended. I glanced over my shoulder. Robert was crying. Students slowly rose from their Chairs and without words filed into the outdoor light. I walked over to Robert and threw my arms around him. Robert was sobbing. Taking in large uncontrollable gulps of air. "It's over." it's all right." In our consoling each other we became a rock in the stream of exiting students. Some swirled back to momentarily hold Robert and me. Others cried openly and then brushed away tears to carry on. Human beings circling and holding each other. Moving toward the door and the world outside. For a week in the middle of a school year we had shared fully in life. And as predicted we also shared a deep secret. In the four years I taught at Cubberley High School no one ever admitted to attending the Third Wave Rally. Oh, we talked and studied our actions intently. But the rally itself. No. It was something we all wanted to forget.

Wednesday 22 October 2008

To the taxi driver who ran me over

Yesterday, I was cycling down Princess Street yesterday university-wards when I was involved in an altercation with a taxi. As I came to the junction with Whitworth Street, the traffic light turned green. Just ahead of me (I could touch his bumper) was a taxi signalling to turn left. As I was in a cycle lane, I assumed that I had thr right of way and carried on straight ahead thinking that he ought to give way. In the event, he didn't and turned into me. Needless to say, I got dragged around the corner with him and ended up in the road. Nothing particularly bad happened, just a couple of cuts and bruises.

Lying in the road, as a pedestrian came to my aid asking if I was ok, I simply replied that I was fine, but slightly annoyed... Presently, the taxi driver stopped his car got out and asked if I was alright. More than anything else, he seemed a little shaken himself and didn't seem to understand why I wasn't shouting at him as cyclists, who are necessarily angry, should. I simply asked him to give way to cyclists in cycle lanes in future to which he replied that in fact it was I that should have given way. I suddenly realised - I really wasn't sure what should have happened. Asking cyclists and drivers in the maths department yeilded only informed conjecture.

On returning home yesterday evening, after having confessed to Le Fox that I'd been in a cycle crash (at which point she became mildly hysterical and started treating me as if I'd just returned from the trenches), I decided to search online for a definitive answer. The Highway code says the following:

Turning left
182
Use your mirrors and give a left-turn signal well before you turn left. Do not overtake just before you turn left and watch out for traffic coming up on your left before you make the turn, especially if driving a large vehicle. Cyclists, motorcyclists and other road users in particular may be hidden from your view.

183
When turning

  • keep as close to the left as is safe and practicable
  • give way to any vehicles using a bus lane, cycle lane or tramway from either direction

along with the picture to go along with section 182. It seems then that the highway code says that any vehicle on the main road should always when turning give way to cyclists using cycle lanes. The Highway code however, is simply a set of guidlines for road users and is not law. The parts of the code which do refer to laws are flagged as such. Rules 182/183 are not. It seems therefore that there is no legal obligation for drivers to abide by these guidelines. Is this true? According to the small print, if it comes to prosecution for insurance claims etc, rulings will come down in favour of those who follow the guidelines. I'd be rather glad to hear from someone that knows more about this than me so please post some comments. And Mr Taxi Driver, please take heed!

Tuesday 14 October 2008

AlleyCat!

It's been a while since I've written anything. There are probably good reasons for that, but let me just give you some indication of the *mindblowing* things I've been doing during that time.

Last Friday, a few of us from the maths department decided to go on the I Bike MCR mini-festival's Dynamic Duo Superhero Treasure/Alley Cat. For those of you that haven't heard of alleycats before, they are messenger races around a city. Competitors race to reach a series of prescribed checkpoints scattered throughout the city of choice, the fastest to the final one being declared the winner. The checkpoints (apart from the final one) can be reached in any order and via any route, so it really seems to make a big difference if you can plan well before getting in the saddle. To win, you basically need a pretty good knowledge of the city and how to ride a bike through it.

As part of the I bike MCR mini-festival, a Manchester alleycat was organised for Friday night, starting at the Sand Bar, a favourite bicycling hangout. This one, it seemed, was geared at the casual cyclist out for a bit of a laugh as well as the seasoned track-bike owning messenger type. As such, this alleycat was meticulously organised to include various challenges and missions where speed wasn't necessarily paramount. Each of the checkpoints was strategically located next to a phonebox. The main organiser would call the phoneboxes periodically and reveal the location of one of five stuffed toys which had been duct-taped to lamposts around the city. If you happened to be at the right checkpoint at the right time, taking the mission might get you some extra points. If that wasn't enough, participants raced as teams of two and were encouraged to dress as superheroes, prizes being awarded for the best dressed.

All in all, it was a great night out - a bit of exercise, lots of caffeine, and general jokes all round. Friends who were out and about reported unexpectedly frenetic cycling throughout the city-centre.

Watch out for the Christmas alleycat. Rumour has it that this will involve shopping lists at grocery stores, the goods being put into hampers for asylum-seeking families. Adrenalin *and* a warm fuzzy feeling.

Here for your delectation are two particularly crazy videos of alleycats in NYC and London.

Friday 26 September 2008

Impending financial doom

Very amusing quote from the New York Times today:

"The situation is like that movie trailer where a guy with a deep, scary voice says, ‘In a world where credit markets are frozen, where banks refuse to lend to each other at any price, only one man, with one plan can save us.’"JARED BERNSTEIN, of the Economic Policy Institute, on the push for a financial bailout.
Do you think I've chosen the wrong time to move back to the US? Hmm...

Critical Mass - Tonight!

For those of you that haven't heard. There's Critical Mass tonight! No matter what city you find yourself (see picture for Budapest), as long as you have a bike handy, there will be people cyling round at some point in the evening.

Here in Manchester, the ride is supposed to start at 6pm from the Central library front door in St Peter's Square. It should be fairly good fun and I'd imagine there'll be a fair turnout of freshers. Come along too!

If you want to know more, check out posts here, here and here and the links at the bottom of each of them.

Sunday 21 September 2008

Thoughts about the cogito.

In his Meditations on First Philosophy, Descartes coined his most famous phrase

Cogito, ergo sum.
(or 'I think therefore I am'). I was wandering through a bookshop the other day and noticed a book called The Last Word by Thomas Nagel, an American philosopher based at NYU.

It seems (from the introduction - I'm not so good at the ol' reading lark yet...) that the idea of this book is essentially an apology for rationalism, the belief that human knowledge can be derived by careful consideration from an armchair. I could well be misinterpreting this, but as far as I can tell, Nagel thinks that subjectivism (that truth and knowledge are subjective notions which may vary from person to person) is a very pernicious influence in society.

The implications are widespread. Take for example issues presented by cosmopolitanism of modern societies. Cultures vary from country to country and although it can be said that many moral issues are agreed upon universally, there are clearly some divergences. In a democratic multicultural society with disparate moral codes, how should one resolve disputes? My own position is one of bewilderment. It seems that taking the subjectivist view and saying, 'Well, what is morally right for one side may not be the same as what is morally right for the other...', leads only to shoulder shrugging and a lack of resolution. In my mind therefore that although subjectivism is a convenient position to take logically, it is more than toothless when applied to real life. On the other hand, taking a more authoritarian and moral absolutist view is not satisfactory either - presenting people with moral rules - 'Drinking soda is wrong!' - which are to be agreed on universally is impractical.

Nagel's book then claims to have some ideas about how to justify rationalism and therefore be able to conjure absolute certainty, indubitable truth, from thin air (or at least our minds). So far, he has talked about Descartes cogito with much affection. The cogito is supposed to be a demonstration of our existence. As soon as one tries to doubt one's existence, one affirms it by thinking. Indeed, Descartes asks proposes 'So who am I? A thinking thing.' There are various objections to this, indeed some say that Descartes has rather a circular argument, presupposing the existence of this 'I' and endowing it with personal attributes which cannot be justified on purely logical grounds. Nagel's view is that there is some worth to the cogito, and I agree. Nagel gives this nice example:

After all, if someone responded to every challenge to tea-leaf reading as a method of deciding factual or practical questions by appealing to further consultation of the tea leaves, it would be thought absurd. Why is reasoning about challenges to reason different? The answer is that the appeal to reason is implicitly authorized by the challenge itself, so this is really a way of showing that the challenge is unintelligible. The charge of begging the question imples that there is an alternative - namely, to examine the reasons for and against the claim being challenged while suspending judgement about it. For the case of reasoning itself, however, no such alternative is available, since any considerations agains the objective validity of a type of reasoning are inevitably attempts to offer reasons against it, and these must be rationally asessed. ... In contrast, a challenge to the authority of tea leaves does not itself lead us back to the tea leaves.

This argument makes a lot of sense. It somehow tells us that we cannot doubt our own reasoning since this would involve something self-referential. Nagel goes on to say that reason is something which we just have to take on trust as being sound. That is not to say that one may not make mistakes reasoning, simply that these could be pointed out and corrected. I think he plans to argue from a sort of foundationalist standpoint having established the indubitability of reasoning.

There is some part of me that feels slightly uneasy about this though. It seems that the 'reason' Nagel is talking about is the 'synthetic analytic' that Kant proposed in the Critique of Pure Reason. Reason, in my view, is part of the apparatus of perception. Thinking long and hard may lead to greater understanding of the apparatus itself, but there is still a fundamental disconnect between what we can derive from sheer brute force logical computation in our heads and the real world outside. Nagel refers to this and claims that his reason is something quite different, but I'm not so sure.

Check out the Google books preview of The Last Word (and tell me what it's all about). Please also feel free to rant in the comments about how badly I've interpreted all of this.

Friday 19 September 2008

  • beat
  • peat
  • boats
  • been
  • pears
  • boast
  • been
  • moats
These are all words for which removing any one letter always produces another word. Someone asked me for a longer one. Any ideas?

Thursday 18 September 2008

Dvorak

That's right. Not Dvořák. Dvorak. If, like me, you grew up a philistine, you'll probably share with me the experience of discovering that there was a Czech composer called Antonín Dvořák having already seen the option in Windows 3.1 to switch to a Dvorak keyboard layout. Curious, thought I, that he was named after a keyboard layout that I assumed was named, like qwerty, by taking at random a line on the keyboard and heading right.

I turns out that the keyboard layout was named after a distant relative, one August Dvorak, a professor of education and an educational psychologist at the University of Washington, Seattle. The original qwerty keyboard layout was designed in the 1860s having been decided upon by the maker of the first commercially sucessful typewriter. The layout was designed to try, as far as possible, to eliminate typewriter jams rather than for ergonomic purposes. To do this, the keyboard layout tries as far as possible to alternate between the left and right hand, although typing this sentence, I wonder how successfull it was.

The advent of the electric typewriter in the 1930s completely eliminated the need for a layout that eliminated jamming. Moreover, the increased speeds that were now possible started to reveal the inefficiency of the QWERTY layout as typists became fatigued faster. To the rescue August Dvorak who, through careful analysis of letter frequencies in the English language and the application of various a priori principles designed the right-handed Dvorak layout. Apparently of prime importance were

  • Letters should be typed by alternating between hands.
  • For maximum speed and efficiency, the most common letters and digraphs should be the easiest to type. This means that they should be on the home row, which is where the fingers rest, and under the strongest fingers.
  • The least common letters should be on the bottom row, which is the hardest row to reach.
  • The right hand should do more of the typing, because most people are right-handed.
  • Digraphs should not be typed with adjacent fingers.
  • Stroking should generally move from the edges of the board to the middle. An observation of this principle is that, for many people, when tapping fingers on a table, it is easier going from little finger to index than vice versa. This motion on a keyboard is called inboard stroke flow.

As far as I know, Dvorak keyboards hold the speed record at the moment (which I think is Barabara Blackburn 212wpm). It seems rather hard to actually find references to this though.

Wednesday 17 September 2008

Geohashing

Now that GPS has been around for a little while and the devices and chips come down in price, various games have sprung up around the technology. More well-known are things like GeoCashing (a GPS-based treasure hunt) and many more... I came across a concept called Geohashing today while trawling the internet. The original idea of geohash.org was to provide, given a location, a short URL which uniquely specified that location. It seems that the algorithm was inteded for use in forums etc.

Geohashing spawned an xkcd comic which gives an algorithm for generating a random location near you each day in terms of latitude and longitude. Here's the algorithm, as seen on xkcd:

Having read this, apparently, people started to travel to the location given by the algorithm, quickly realising that there were other xkcd readers there too.

Check out the wiki for more details. Or alternatively go here to have Google maps show you where the geohashing algorithm will take you today!

Tuesday 16 September 2008

Sporadic Simple Games

Are you au fait with finite simple groups? Well I know I'm certainly not.

For the uninitiated, a group is a mathematical object which can be thought of as the collection of symmetries of some object. As for simple groups, I guess they can sort of be thought of as the basic buidling blocks of groups (whatever that means...)

There's a classification of finite simple groups which is one of the great results of the 20th/21st century. It shows that there are four categories (not in the mathematical sense) into which the finite simple groups may be divided, the most romantic of these consisting of the 26 sporadic groups. I say romantic, what I really mean is quirkily named - one of the groups contained therin is the Monster group while another is called the Baby Monster... Ah those finite group theorists.

Anyway, as someone who finds finite simple groups particularly scary, I was rather pleased to see a rather interesting page at Scientific American. There you can find a couple of games that give some idea of the structure of the groups M12, M24 and the Conway group without actually knowing any mathematics whatsoever. Click on the link below to investigate. Happy playing!

Incidentally, if you're feeling slightly fobbed off by my lack of a definition of a finite simple group, then check out the articles on group, normal subgroup, quotient group and simple group.

Monday 15 September 2008

The Power Ballad Conspiracy

Remember the 80s? Don't answer that. Those ten years made up the best possible tribute to that most hallowed of musical forms - the Power Ballad. I was listening to Bonnie Tyler's Total eclipse of the heart today and thought it sounded rather like Meatloaf. Indeed, it sounded like a lot of songs I remember from the 80s. I discovered that in fact there was a much more tangible link between all of these; the man, the legend - Jim Steinman. He wrote and produced all of these songs and many more including:

In fact, he wrote the whole of Bat out of Hell (I&II) and a significant proportion of 80s chart music. Amazing eh?

Sunday 14 September 2008

A little net music

This time I decided to go classical on your asses.

You are listening to:
  1. Vi ricorda ò boschi ombrosi from the (first surviving) opera Orfeo by Monteverdi. Performed by the Savall ensemble.
  2. Una Furtiva Lagrima from Donizetti's L'Elisir d'Amore. Pavarotti.
  3. Now is the month of maying by Thomas Morely. Performed by the King's Singers as part of the Madrigal History Tour (hoho!)
  4. 2nd movement (Allegretto) from Beethoven VII. Performed by Berlin Philharmonic under Karajan
  5. Vltava (Moldau) from Ma Vlast by Smetena. Performed by Czech Philharmonic under Kubelik.
  6. Denn alles fleisch es ist wie gras from Brahms' Deutches Requiem. I don't know who's performing it.

Saturday 13 September 2008

Some Facts About North Korea

(taken from the book 'A True and Impartial Look at North Korea', published by the Kim Jong-il Foundation for Truth, Freedom, and Countering the Malicious Lies of the American Imperialist Aggressors; Pyongyang)

  • North Korea won the Korean War.
  • North Korea tolerates all religions. However, the state religion is so magnificent, 100% of all Koreans are converts, rendering all other religions superfluous.
  • North Korea developed the world's first invisible car, which is why the roads look so empty.
  • Jesus famously fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. But during the famine in Korea in the mid '90s, the Dear Leader Kim Jong-il fed 22 million Koreans without any food at all. In fact, this famine is the first famine in history in which officially nobody died.
  • North Korea does not, contrary to popular belief, suffer from food shortages, but thanks to the magnificence of the Dear Leader Kim Jong-il, produces a massive surplus every year. To give thanks to the beloved Dear Leader, though, many devout Koreans frequently fast themselves as a form of worship. In remote rural areas, people have been known to fast themselves for several months at a time.
  • Koreans consider potholes to be a sign of good luck.
  • The Great Leader Kim Il-Sung is the founder of the all-encompassing Juche idea, a philosophy so complicated only Koreans are intelligent enough to understand it.
  • MASH would be much better if it was set in North Korea.
  • The Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il once beat Chuck Norris at arm wrestling.
  • South Korea is one of the most backward countries in the world, but in an effort to fool tourists, the government orders millions of citizens to walk around Seoul looking prosperous.
  • Lee Myung-Bak, the President of South Korea, lures little boys to his gingerbread house.So does George W. Bush.
  • North Korea is home to the world's shortest acrobat.
  • The Dear Leader Kim Jong-il has never lost a game of rock, paper, scissors. So far he has 9,683 wins, many of them by knockout.
  • It is not true, as some have suggested, that The Great Leader Kim Il-Sung once raced a cheetah and won. It was in fact a leopard.
  • North Korea won the World Cup in 2006, equalling Brazil's record of five triumphs. Thanks to the efforts of the Imperialist American Aggressors' propaganda machine, however, many people mistakenly credit Italy with the victory.
  • In 2003, The Dear Leader Kim Jong-Il entered the Guinness Book of World Records by winning 120% of the vote in that year's elections; such is the high esteem and reverence with which he is held by the Korean people. His tally beat a record previously held by Robert Mugabe and Saddam Hussein.
  • In 1994 The Great Leader Kim Il-Sung died of a heart attack, and ascended into heaven, where he is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His kingdom will have no end.

Friday 12 September 2008

Belle qui tiens ma vie

I thought I'd write a quick little ditty about a bit of music with which I have been strangely obsessed ever since we sang it in the Burlington Choir a couple of months ago. It's a piece by Thoinot Arbeau (1519-1595), real name Jehan Tabourot originally written as an instrumental dance. Apparently Arbeau was a master of dances and wrote the definitintive book on Renaissance dance, the Orchésographie from which much of modern knowledge about the period is derived. The pavane Belle qui tiens ma vie is I think one of the very few pieces in the Orchésographie with all four parts filled in by Arbeau himself, the others having only the top line. Here's a facsimile of the relevant pages and here's a modern version.

Perhaps because all of the original parts are included, this seems to have sparked off a great number of people with their own versions. The one which strikes me as most like an actual dance is that of The Broadside Bandand excerpt of which I couldn't find online, but which is being played in the background of this YouTube video. What follows are a load of versions which get progressively... well I'll let you decide.

Check out:

Turn-on

If only I'd thought of this...

Thursday 11 September 2008

Dark Horizons for Blue Skies

I read and listened today to David King, Chief Scientific advisor to the British government from 2000-2007 saying that there is no space in scientific funding for so called 'blue skies research'.

Blue skies research is essentially research for curiosity's sake, trying to gain greater understanding of some part of the nature of reality. As such, it generally has no immediate applications at its conception, although it is responsible for the theories that lie as the bedrock supporting applied science, engineering and economics.

One example of blue skies research is into discovering the very nature of physical interaction in the universe, be it on the grand scale of cosmology or the minute scale of particle physics. The Large Hadron Collider which was switched on yesterday at CERN is a good example of the blue sky. David King bemoaned the spending of 500m pounds on the LHC, saying

"It's all very well to demonstrate that we can land a craft on Mars, it's all very well to discover whether or not there is a Higgs boson (a potential mass mechanism); but I would just suggest that we need to pull people towards perhaps the bigger challenges where the outcome for our civilisation is really crucial."

Coming from a leading scientist, this comes across as patently ridiculous and rather confusing. Ok, so I might be a little biased being a pure mathematician (how much more blue sky can you get?) and feeling as if we're getting very little funding already. This application driven point of view seems ridiculously closed minded and incredibly short sighted. Particle physics has so far produced such (presumably useless according to DK) devices as the transistor, the computer display, radiotherapy, x-rays... In fact, most of the major advances that characterise the 20th century are due in no small part to spin-offs of particle physics experiments.

Science in the UK seems hopelessly doomed when Chief scientific advisers can be so incredibly anti-science. Given this, it was incredibly gratifying to see David King (above right) berated by Brian Cox (above left), the poster boy of UK particle physics (and a Professor in the High Energy Physics department at Manchester) on Newsnight last night. He put forward the remark that on the one day in which fundamental scientific research is actually covered in the media, it was ridiculous for the president of the British Association for the Advancement of Science to be pouring cold water on the achievement.

If you're reading this Prof King (haha!), I suggest that you quit your job as chief scientific advisor to UBS and spend all of your time tackling climate change before suggesting that blue sky researchers should change their focus and jeopardise modern science in the process.

Check out:

Wednesday 10 September 2008

NYC Mass gets Critical

This pretty shocking video is of Patrick Pogan, a 3rd generation member of the NYPD shoving a NYC critical masser into the pavement. I thought this was pretty bad and started reading into the story. The crazy thing is, not only was the cyclist, Christopher Long, unceremoniously heaved over, he was also charged for assault!

Instant thoughts of left wing hippie internet propaganda immediately popped into my head, but these were pretty quickly quelled by this, a copy of Pogan's statement. Very quickly, this video, which was kindly provided by a tourist was uploaded onto YouTube, getting a million and a half hits within a couple of months and completely rubbishing the assault charge, which was promptly dropped.

It goes to show kids: either join the police or carry a camera.

Tuesday 9 September 2008

Pigs Legs and CocaCola

Today Thailand's prime miniester was forced out of office by the judiciary on rather unusual grounds. Put more eloquently, by The Times:

Thailand’s Prime Minister was forced to resign today over his double life as a television celebrity chef.

After a mammoth deliberation session by the nine judges of Thailand’s Constitutional Court, Samak Sundaravej was told today that he and his Cabinet must resign, plunging his country's crisis-stricken politics still deeper into chaos.

The judgment brings to an end the rule of the first democratically elected prime minister since Thailand’s government fell to a military coup in 2006.

This is the culmination of riots and various other civil disobedience over a long period. Apparently (according to WNYC), the judiciary is usually extremely slow when it comes to processing cases etc and so this looks very much to be a stitch up. Having said that, the thousands of supporters camped in his office - which is presumably huge - seem to be celebrating. The Guardian today published what everyone is dying to see, some of his recipes. For your delectation, here's one reproduced:

Pigs' legs in Coca-Cola

Ingredients (serves five):

  • Five pig legs
  • Four bottles of Coca-Cola
  • Three tablespoons salt
  • Fish sauce
  • Garlic, chopped
  • See-uan (a sweet, dark sauce)
  • Four to five cinnamon sticks
  • Coriander root
  • Ground pepper
  • Five tablespoons "pongpalo" powder
  • Shitake mushrooms

Method: Place the pig legs in a large pot. Pour over the Coca-Cola and bring to the boil. Add the coriander root, garlic, pepper, salt, fish sauce, "pongpalo" and cinnamon sticks. Add sufficient water to cover. Cut the stalks off the Shitake mushrooms and add hot water to soften. Then add to the main pot. Bring to boil and simmer or at least three hours. Make sweet sauce with see-uan. Serve chilli and vinegar sauce.

Monday 8 September 2008

Will the world end on Wednesday?

So... I'm sure you've all heard about CERN's new black hole machine (technical term) that could potentially end the world on Wednesday. Actually it's a Large Hadron Collider to you ley people.

One camp thinks we'll be fine, and even if they do make a black hole, it will be a baby one that won't hurt us. The other camp thinks the world will get eaten up and we'll all disappear. On Wednesday.

Makes me think of all the other prophecies and ideas that have predicted our doom- the Mayan Calendar, Nostradamus, even Mother Shipton (of Yorkshire fame).

I don't really feel worried. Maybe it's because I'm stressed about moving, and if the world ends, I can't do anything about it, AND I won't have to pack anymore- that's not all that bad.

Also, I know someone who just worked at CERN last week (shout out to Andrew, husband of Molly) so this makes me a lot less worried. Seems more like a 9-5 job then doomsday device.

Speaking of Doomsday, I watched it on Saturday (I'm a big Neil Marshall fan- The Descent was brilliant, and I'd be happy to tell you why). Some people (my husband) think its too mental but I really enjoyed it, and not just because I have a thing for women who kick ass. Thanks to a virus, Scotland is walled off again (a la Hadrian's Wall- how brilliant is that) and left to die. The virus resurfaces in London, about 25 years later, so they decide to go back into Scotland and find a cure in the survivors. The survivors are split between a tribal Mad Max culture (based in Glasgow, and strikingly similar to today's residents) and a 'civilised' medieval kingdom, taken up residence in an old castle, using the armour, ways of life, etc.

I think both completely plausible. I defy you to find a museum curator who doesn't secretly fantasize about using their museum collections to revert to a historic way of life. When the floods happened in Yorkshire last year one museum hauled out an antique fire truck to help pump the water.

So, in preparation for our impending doom, why not watch it on Wednesday?

Sunday 7 September 2008

Concept Bike

Ok, I've heard of concept cars but have you ever heard of a concept bike? Well here are some pictures of one. And yes, it was inspired by old motorbike designs, although apparently the handlebar design comes from 1930s track bicycles. This one was designed by Eric Therner and claims, I think a little erroneously to create a new market... One thing that I definitely do like about it is that there are integrated LED lights inside the frame itself. Was this never practical before? Anyway, drool all you like. Check out these links: